We've moved!

We've moved! In case you're stumbling across this blog late in the game, our blog is now integrated into our regular website: www.gretchenshouse.com. Check us out!

Children's Book Recommendations

If you've ever found yourself overwhelmed by all the choices of books for young children, new website Twenty by Jenny should be your first stop next time you shop! This resource was developed by Jenny Brown, who has more than twenty years of experience with children's books, including work as a teacher and as a book editor. She currently reviews children's books for major publications. Recommendations are organized by age group. Tip: after you click on the age group buttons, one book selection is revealed. Click on "view first list" to see the entire selection for that age group.

-- H.V.

SCamp Early Registration Savings Reminder

Please note that those who register their children for SCamp (Summer Camp) by May 1, 2009 will receive significant savings. You've got one week!

The Well-Meaning, Bad Parent

NPR Radio program Fresh Air recently hosted psychologist Richard Weissbourd in a program called "The Well-Meaning, Bad Parent." Weissbourd talks about the complexities of raising "moral" children and how well-intentioned, thoughtful parenting can produce the opposite of intended results. One of the things he touches on is parents' tendency to "overpraise" our kids, thereby diminishing the value of praise and reducing kids' internal motivation to achieve and/or take risks. Fresh Air's site has an excerpt; you can also listen to the audio podcast on the same page--it's only about 15 minutes long. Thought-provoking stuff!

-- Admin

April Showers

It's that time again -- April and May in Michigan often mean daily weather shifts. Since we go outside every day, please bring your child to the center prepared to stay warm and dry. At this point, it's probably safe to change our snowboots for rainboots. Children also need raincoats and rain/mud pants, (or rainsuits), lighter gloves, hats, and a fleece or other medium-weight jacket.

As the sun begins to shine more noticeably, we will also begin to use sunscreen at the centers. Please take a moment to review our sunscreen and bug repellent policies.

Thanks!

-- Admin

Summer Camp Registration

Spring is just showing her pretty face but it's time to think about summer plans! Our website now has Summer Camp (SCamp) 2009 brochures and enrollment paperwork for new and returning families.

Those who register by May 1, 2009 receive a significant discount: $215 per week or $49 per day. After May 1, fees will be $241 per week and $55 per day.

To read more about our SCamp program, please visit our website, or download the full brochure. Parents who just need the enrollment forms can find them here.

-- Admin

Peanut Allergy News

New hope for peanut allergy sufferers: Doctors at Duke University Medical Center and Arkansas Children's Hospital have developed a method to effectively treat some children with peanut allergies. By giving patients small, gradually increasing doses of the allergen over the course of a year or so, doctors have been able to increase patients tolerance to the allergic substance. Five patients show no lingering immune response to peanuts and several others show greatly reduced reactions. Don't try this at home, folks: this was a highly supervised exercise with immediate medical treatment available in the event of any undesired reactions. Doctors can't and won't use the word "cure" without long-term study and bigger clinical trials, but this is a significant nugget of hope for families dealing with peanut allergies.

Read more about the study here and here. Video here.

-- Admin

GH-Parent Workshop Blog

We have started a new blog specifically for Parent Workshop discussions. You can find it at www.ghparentworkshops.blogspot.com. Beth Melampy, Gretchen's House Director of Curriculum, will be blogging about topics related to workshops, as well as answering follow-up questions to GH Parent Workshops. The blog also lists upcoming parent workshop events.

Check it out!

Potty Training Bribes

A parent struggling with potty training a 3 year old inspired this post.

"Potty Training" is the common phrase most people use to describe the process of learning to use the toilet, but at GH we prefer the term Toilet Learning for a couple of reasons.

One can train a child to use the toilet by placing the child on a potty at typical times when he will need to relieve himself, but ultimately the child will make the choice whether or not to apply that skill. A 2-4 year-old child has very little control over his or her world. They don't choose when or what to eat, when to go to bed, where they spend their time, etc. Ultimately, a child decides where or when to go to the bathroom, and often, "potty training" becomes a power struggle between parent and child rather than an opportunity to encourage indpendence and increase personal comfort. Using the phrase Toilet Learning reminds us that control rests with the child, and emphasizes that it is an ongoing process.

Our Toilet Learning Purple Page describes most of the specifics of our approach to this process. I did want to clarify one thing that the original parent asked: why don't we (at GH) use rewards to encourage children who know how to use the toilet when they do so successfully?

A couple of reasons:

• Children learn best when their primary reward is intrinsic satisfaction for a job well done. By linking their accomplishments to external rewards such as stickers and small candies, we minimize their internal satisfaction and sense of agency.


• We believe that praise is an effective motivator and useful feedback, and we verbally encourage kids who are engaging in the process for their steps along the way.


• Children who are physically ready for potty training may not be emotionally ready for it, and vice versa. By adding external rewards for toileting, we may be setting up kids for failure. Say you have a child who can control her bladded but is often too engaged in play to attend to her body's signals. An underwear accident in a reward system would mean no reward, which is a failure. If we remove the reward (and the implied judgment) from the equation, an accident during play becomes feedback. We can say to the child, "You were so excited about the bubbles that you forgot to go to the bathroom. Maybe next time we should remind everyone to check themselves before we go out with the bubbles."


• Children who really love rewards but aren't quite ready to "earn" them may mislead themselves about their readiness for underwear, for example, leading to embarrassment and frustration.

The best toilet learning avoids repeating preventable failure. When a child has the physical and emotional readiness to master the tasks involved, external rewards aren't necessary.

Is it ever okay to use bribes? Sure. Every aspect of parenting involves give-and-take. Sometimes a child needs extra encouragement to attend to a new skill in challenging situations. At the centers, our routines and rooms are set up specifically to promote age-appropriate toilet learning, so we have elected not to use rewards at the center.

We Are Open Today! (Except for W.I.S.D.)

Many area schools are closed today due to the extremely cold conditions. Districts don't want children waiting for the bus or walking to school in these temps. At Gretchen's House, since all our kids are driven to school, we do not have the same concern. Therefore, we will open today at our regular time, with the exception of GH-W.I.S.D., which is a public school facility and beyond our control.

Parents who need care for their school-aged children should call their centers to inquire whether there is space before bringing schoolage kids to the center.

Thanks -- and stay warm!

-- Admin

Family Friendly Film Series Continues

On Sunday, January 11 at 1:30 p.m., the Michigan Theater will be showing Babe 2: Pig In the City. Admission is free for kids 12 and under!

Cabin Fever?

This might be a good cure:



It was a community project done by Australia's Polyglot Puppet Theatre.

Mr. G Memorial

We are sad to announce that our Oak Valley location's Music Consultant, Mr. G (Loren Greenwalt), passed away unexpectedly on Saturday, December 19. He was 54. The Ann Arbor News obituary can be found here. Funeral Services will be held Saturday, December 27, at 1 p.m. at the Greenwood United Methodist Church, 1001 Green Rd., in Ann Arbor. Memorial contributions may be made to the Michigan Theater. Our sincere condolences to his family, friends, and all those who enjoyed his music and company.

Ann Arbor Centers Closed, Friday December 19, 2008

Due to the continuing snow and increasingly hazardous conditions, All Gretchen's House Ann Arbor Centers will be closed today.

Please drive carefully if you must drive. Our local roads survey showed nothing has yet been plowed. We recommend a day at home baking cookies, sledding, or playing games!

- Hope

Inclement Weather

The Ann Arbor Public Schools (and many surrounding districts) are closed today due to the winter storm, so Gretchen's House will at least have a delayed opening. During the delay, Gretchen's House administrative staff will survey local roads and look at the forecast for the rest of the day. By 9 a.m., we make a decision whether to remain closed for the day or open at 10, and will post that update here.

Little Oaks will close if the Oakland County Government Offices close; Little Huskies follows the Michigan Tech decision.

You can read more about our Inclement Weather Policy on the policies page of our website.

-- Admin

Online Health Resource

Integrated Health Associates of Ann Arbor has updated their website with lots of useful resources. One tool that families may find especially useful is the Pediatric SelfCareNavigator. It's a handy checklist of symptoms, organized anatomically, that can help parents decide whether childhood illnesses and injuries require immediate medical attention and/or how to relieve minor symptoms.

As we enter the colds and flu season, it's a good idea for GH parents to review our Health Policies. When GH Staff send a child home due to illness, we use two main criteria to make that decision: the sick child's comfort and well-being, and the well-being of other children and staff in the program. Sometimes an easily communicable illness can affect some children and adults more seriously than others. Other times, a child with a relatively mild illness can feel miserable. And occasionally, children with colds or low-grade fevers may feel perfectly fine in a group setting. In all cases, we need to do what's best for all the children.

-- Admin

Toyland, Take 2

So an astute reader of this blog posed the question: What about all that junk that is marketed to kids? How can parents deal with that?

Some suggestions:

1. TURN OFF THE TV. Okay, that may be a little extreme. I grew up watching unlimited TV and it didn't stunt my brain, stifle my imagination, or turn me into a zombie. So here's a more moderate suggestion: WATCH TV WITH YOUR KIDS! Gifts aside, you should do this anyway so you'll know what they're watching and be able to discuss it.

2. Talk about the stuff you see: print ads, commercials, other children playing with toys. When your child expresses toylust, help him or her figure out what is attractive about that particular item. This will help your child think harder about their wishlist. Ask questions like, "Is that a sharing toy or an alone toy?" or, "Is that like any other toys you know?" or, "What other ways could you play with that toy?" Model critical thinking: "Do you think that toy is really as good/fast/fun as the commercial makes it look?" Your questions can be leading but should not be judgmental.

3a. Make the object lesson concrete. One of the best ways to teach children about the limits of junk toys is to have them spend their own money. Ten or fifteen dollars is enough to buy a great toy or a piece of junk. Help your child plan ahead -- make a list of ideas. Once you're at the store, ask questions like the ones above to help your child narrow the choices to one or two items. It is okay if they finally opt for the junky toy. It is their money, and it will be their consequence. When the toy breaks or is quickly discarded, say to your child, "Next time, should I remind you not to spend your money on toys that might break (or whatever the downfall was)?" This should be done in the tone of a good friend, not a condescending grown-up.

3b. Have your child pay for his or her own impulse buys. Give a small allowance -- for example, one dollar per year of age, starting at age 3 or 4 depending on your kid's development. When your child begs for a cookie at the grocery store or a trinket at the toy store, insist that s/he pay for it. Some kids are born savers, and this instinct will extinguish the gimmies. Other kids enjoy the thrill of the hunt and the rush of a purchase. Having a limited budget will teach spenders how to prioritize. Explain the advantages of resisting impulse buys. "If we buy this pack of cards here, it will be $3. But if we wait until the next time we are at the dollar store, you will still have $2 left." Older preschoolers are perfectly poised to begin learning about budgets. They have a natural desire to manipulate numbers and are beginning to exercise impulse control.

4. When your child makes a wishlist, help him or her make it reasonable. Survey the toys you already have to figure out what s/he enjoys most, what is missing, and what doesn't get much use. Give your kindergarten or older child a budget: "Choose the three (or so) things that you want the most." This forces kids to prioritize.

5. Don't go overboard. Every parent I know has stories about how their child only paid attention to one toy out of ten or how the things they begged for weren't satisfying at all. Keep it simple. Three modest toys is a bounty: something special, something useful, something surprising. Kids become overwhelmed by too many presents and are usually happiest with the non-present elements of most celebrations: good food, great company, fun games, special memories.

6. Figure out what your child really wants from that junk toy: to feel powerful? To feel fancy? To have company? Find a better way to scratch that itch.

For everyday cases of the gimmes, one basic concept: Ask your child: is this something you need, or something you want? Explain that it's important to think for a while -- several days, a week or two, maybe longer -- about things we merely want. Often, we'll outgrow the desire before the deadlines's up.

-- H.V.

2009 Calendar

FYI -- we've posted the 2009 calendar on our website. The only dates not included are PAG meetings after February's and AAPS days fall days off. We'll update the file as soon as those dates are available.

Toyland

It's that time of the year when parents are bombarded with flyers and commercials for the latest, greatest, must-have toys. Two things we recommend parents keep in mind when toy-shopping, all year-round:
- The most engaging and rewarding toys have more than one purpose.
- Just because a toy is for sale in the US doesn't mean it is safe for children.

Often simpler, open-ended toys become children's favorites, with good reason: they require imagination. Cardboard box, anyone?! We recommend these classics, which will last many seasons as your child grows and figures out new ways to use them:

1. Lego bricks. Duplos for babies and toddlers, Legos for preschoolers who no longer put things in their mouths and who have the fine-motor control to snap the bricks together. Many children use Duplos well into elementary school. Look for basic pieces: bricks of all shapes and sizes, wheels, windows & doors, and planks to build on. All the other accessories are gravy. Try www.shop.lego.com
2. Wooden blocks. Choose a size that is appropriate for your child's age (in general, the smaller the block, the older the child, except for infants who need medium sized-blocks that are neither too heavy nor choking hazards). Unpainted blocks are less likely to contain led paint. Children use these to build, sort, seriate, and for imaginative play. We love Haba blocks.
3. Dress-up clothing and props. Secondhand clothing, washed and repaired, is usually sturdier and more interesting than pre-packaged costumes. Children use dress up play to practice social skills, fine and large motor skills, imaginative play, and spatial awareness.
4. Cars, trucks, and trains. Do not shortchange your daughters -- all kids like things that move. Be careful about loose parts and choking hazards with younger children.
5. Books. Take time to select books with beautiful art and fun language. It's a gift that keeps on giving! Your local independent bookseller will have great specific suggestions for the children in your life.
6. Balls. Choose a ball that is an appropriate size and material for your child. Even tennis balls are a great toy for kids of all ages.

As for safety: the Ann Arbor Ecology Center recently released its second annual guide to toxic chemicals in toys. You can see their recommendations at www.HealthyToys.org
Check for toy and equipment recall information at the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commision's website.

Developmental Concerns?

One of the tidbits we came across at the NAEYC conference last week was information about a new initiative called Act Early, which is sponsored by the Department of Health and Human Services.

They've compiled a list of milestones to help parents gauge their young children's development. The video below is a good overview of the program.



If you have any trouble viewing the video, the original version is here. If you are on a slower internet connection, you can read a transcript of the video here.

It's important to remember that children develop skills at different rates, but developmental checklists such as these are handy tools for parents who want to learn more about "normal" development. Early intervention has a big impact for children with developmental delays.

There are many more resources on the Centers for Disease Control Act Early page.

-- Admin